If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.
You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.
But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.
“Video killed the radio star”… that’s what all of us 20, 30, 40 sumthin folks or better known as Generation X, are hummin’ at this very moment as the curtains begin to close on you, MTV Philippines. In approximately 10 hours, a dear friend will bid farewell to its world and mine.
The news came as a shock to me to say the least. I never imagined that such a household name and industry leader could be taken down from its spot. We all know you had lived easy and some, less than easy days. You had your fair share of struggles, moving from one home to another. There was Channel 23, Studio 23, IBC 13, Channel 41 that served as your temporary sanctuary, but you were still comfortably kept within the realm of Philippine television. You had always survived, one way or another.
Call me emo, but hey, I’m depressed man! It’s like watching a brother slowly pass upon his death bed, and I lie powerless to revive or resuscitate. MTV Philippines, you played a vital role in my semi-charmed life and I will tell you why.
I marked every crossroad, every feat and memory, good or bad, of each and every day of my post-puberty life with a song, along with your music videos. From the day I first went out on a date in ‘92 to the day I ended my last serious relationship, Nirvana, TLC, Pearl Jam… the great living and dead were at my side, serenading…comforting reminding me…that “Im just a teenage dirtbag baby”
I have vivid memories of days when I woke up watching Chumbawumba’s “Thubthumping” after my worst college hangover. I remember the day I danced along with Mariah Carey’s “Fantasy” video when I got my first job… and met awesome new colleagues that introduced me to Jaggermeister. I had my fair share of wild nights out in town, and certain “memorable” nights with Maxwell and Shaggy as my witness. Even after I turned 30, I still ran to you for refuge. Believe it or not when I lived in a suitcase flying from province to province, I kept you on before I slept to ward off my fear of dingy haunted hotels.
Another reason why I want my MTV Philippines – you filtered “other” Asian mixes and played only what I liked (and understood). I didn’t have to sit through some odd foreign video just to see Parokya ni Edgar or Francis M. Finally, I didn’t have to switch channels. It was a huge relief, or so I thought.
They say it’s gonna be pretty much the same. They say nothing is really lost as far as visibility to the trends in music and entertainment are concerned. They say this because your big brother MTV Asia will still exist, blah blah…But I will say this – it will never be the same without you.
MTV Philippines, you did not only give birth to the true blue pinoy playlist, you also opened your doors to the country’s finest VJs, confident, witty, talented willing and able bodied beautiful people who knew how to ENTERTAIN and REPRESENT the nation. People I look up to ‘til this day.
We both saw Ramon Bautista make it big through his crazy and candid 5 minute segments. Such a bright young fella. Sarah Meier blossomed into a fierce TV and runway host. And who can ever forget KC Montero? Your boy did not only master the art of making teenage girls giggle— he also mastered the art of making people of all ages laugh. All these and more…all great achievements, by those who know how to walk the walk and talk the talk—- they all happened under your roof. They made us all proud to be Pinoy.
And so my friend, before they pull the plug, I want to take this time out to say this— it was an honor knowing you MTV Philippines. You were there as I went through the worst and the best, and when I was put through the test you soothed my restless soul. I say this with conviction— no other music channel can mark a memory so well as you did for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
One last thing I am grateful for is this… MTV Philippines, your depart only paved the way for that silver lining in radio. I was a big fan seeing your kids on TV, but now.. since I do spend more time hearing them as they pour their hearts and minds out, I am now a bigger fan. So close your eyes and rest in peace my friend. Find comfort in knowing that your legacy lives on … nowhere else but in the airwaves.
Goodbye my MTV Philippines. It was a good run.
PS - hit me up if you ever decide to rise from the dead.